Always respect who you are


Tonight was a night to be with family. A time for fun and laughter, reminiscing about times and enjoying new ones.
Somehow, weirdly,  it always relates back to weight.
My Uncle and Aunt were visiting from abroad, a perfect opportunity for both sides of my parents family to congregate. It’s always fun. We laugh, joke and talk about past times together.
Not long after I arrive, after I’ve made my way around the room, giving hugs and kisses to them all, I settle down next to my Gran. We start talking and she starts to tell a story how she and my Aunt couldn’t figure out the difference between me and my sister. I’ve lost weight over the last year, my Gran needs to assure me that my hips are smaller than my sisters.
I speak to my other Aunt, she tells me I’m looking great and I’m keeping the weight off and that’s all that matters and she’s happy for me, as she asks how I’m doing.
Later, I’m sitting on the floor playing cards with my sister and my niece. My dad comes over and whispers in my ear that, ‘I’ve to pull down the back of my top’. I don’t understand as a little bit of my back is showing as I’ve leant forward under my 3 layers of tops. ‘It’s a builders bum showing’ my dad says, I reply, “its a bit of my back, no bum at all, just a little bit of my back”
I am always desperate to spend time with my family, but after I do, I have mixed emotions about the experience.
I am incredible grateful that I have a loving family that cares for me and I can spend time with them. However, I also feel negative about the ways they talk to me about my body.
I understand that is their way of saying that they care, however it takes me time to understand that.
I have completed a Nutritional Therapist course this year, and I am currently completing a 200hr Yoga Teacher Training course.
I feel that I am giving myself the tools to not only feel better about myself and take care of myself, but also to help others.
My Yoga journey has helped my understand the massive influence my family comments, no matter how much love they come from, it’s the context that I take them in, that make me feel so bad about myself. In the past, this would have consumed me with hurt and anger.
I’m glad that I’ve learned from this experience and I know I will learn from the next.
Love yourself.

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